This is Improbable Too Page 11

  Detail from ‘Report Documentation Page’

  The US Air Force has a history of imaginative weaponry proposals. Whitehurst says ‘many attempts have been made over the years to impede naval forces in a variety of manners, including floating smoke pots, entanglement devices, and even “floating purple mountains of shaving cream” … but none ever made it into wide use.’

  More flashily, plans prepared long ago at the US Air Force’s Wright laboratory, in Dayton, Ohio, called for development of a potent chemical weapon. This is the so-called gay bomb that makes enemy soldiers sexually irresistible to each other. Wright laboratory was awarded the Ig Nobel peace prize in 2007 for instigating that line of research.

  Whitehurst, Daniel L. (2009). ‘The Slimeball: The Development of Broad-scale Maritime Non-lethal Weaponry’. Research report submitted in partial fulfillment of graduation requirements, Air Command and Staff College, Air University, Maxwell Air Force Base, Alabama, April.

  n.a. (1994). ‘Harassing, Annoying, and “Bad Guy” Identifying Chemicals’. Wright Laboratory, WL/FIVR, Wright Patterson Air Force Base, Dayton, Ohio, 1 June.

  And his hair turned white …

  In a study called ‘Sudden Whitening of the Hair: An Historical Fiction?’, Anne-Marie Skellett, George Millington and Nick Levell, at Norfolk and Norwich University Hospital, try to chop off a myth at its roots. People’s hair, they believe, does not all of a sudden turn white. It just doesn’t. Goodbye, ye hoary tales of Queen Marie Antoinette of France and Sir Thomas More of England each turning whitehaired the night before being beheaded.

  Hair whitening – ‘canities’ in medical lingo – takes longer than days or even weeks, they report in a 2008 issue of the Journal of the Royal Society of Medicine. If somebody’s hair did suddenly turn white, they say, it would most likely have an unnatural cause: ‘the washing out, or lack of access to a temporary hair dye’.

  They suggest one other possible, though maybe nonexistent, mechanism. The disease alopecia totalis makes people’s hair fall out. Perhaps, in someone of mixed white and dark hair, some rare form of the disease might make only the dark strands fall out.

  In medical monographs over the past one hundred years, doctors have almost uniformly expressed scepticism. In 1972, Josef Jelinek, of New York University medical school, debunked dozens of supposedly documented sudden-hair-whitening claims with a monograph in the Bulletin of the New York Academy of Medicine.

  Jelinek, an MD, began by directing the blame: ‘It was not the physician but rather the historian who first seized on stories of sudden whitening to dramatize the tribulations of famous persons, principally in their grief or fear, in order to interest and astonish the reader. The poet, too, found poignancy in this phenomenon.’ He mentions as an example Shakespeare’s King Henry IV, Part 1, where Falstaff says to Hotspur: ‘Worcester is stolen away tonight. Thy father’s beard is turned white with the news.’

  Dr Alexander Navarini and Dr Ralph Trüeb at University Hospital of Zürich, Switzerland, have become the foremost modern scholars of sudden-whitening. In 2009, they published a report called ‘Marie Antoinette Syndrome’, about a fifty-four-year-old woman whose ‘entire scalp hair suddenly turned white within a few weeks’. The next year, they published a paper called ‘Thomas More Syndrome’, about a fifty-six-year-old man ‘with sudden total whitening of scalp hair and eyebrows within weeks’.

  They potter on about the names: ‘Saint Thomas More, who turned white in 1535, ought to have the right of seniority over the Queen of France who succumbed to the same fate in 1793. Since there seems to be no other particular reason for favouring Marie Antoinette over Thomas More, out of fairness, it would seem appropriate to use the term “Marie Antoinette syndrome” for the condition afflicting women and “Thomas More syndrome” for men.’ They further contributed to our knowledge of saints’ hair with a 2010 paper called ‘Beneath the Nimbus’.

  Some saints summarized by hirsuteness, from ‘Beneath the Nimbus’

  Navarini and Trüeb also disseminated some dark, happy hair news. In a monograph called ‘Reversal Of Canities’ they explain that they can’t really explain why a sixty-seven-year-old ‘otherwise healthy’ man ‘presented with spontaneous repigmentation of his grey hair’.

  Skellett, Anne-Marie, George W.M. Millington and Nick J. Levell (2008). ‘Sudden Whitening of the Hair: An Historical Fiction?’. Journal of the Royal Society of Medicine 101( 12): 574–6.

  n.a. (1910). ‘Sudden Whitening of the Hair’. The Lancet 175 (4525): 1430–1.

  n.a. (1973). ‘Sudden Whitening of the Hair’. British Medical Journal 1 (5852): 504.

  Jelinek, Joseph E. (1972). ‘Sudden Whitening of the Hair’. Bulletin of the New York Academy of Medicine 48 (8): 1003–13.

  Navarini, Alexander A., Stephan Nobbe and Ralph M. Trüeb (2009). ‘Marie Antoinette Syndrome’. Archives of Dermatology 145 (6): 656.

  Trüeb, Ralph M., and Alexander A. Navarini (2010). ‘Thomas More Syndrome’. Dermatology 220: 55–6.

  Navarini, Alexander A., and Ralph M. Trüeb (2010). ‘Why Henry III of Navarre’s Hair Probably did Not Turn White Overnight’. International Journal of Trichology 2 (1): 2–4.

  — (2010). ‘Reversal of Canities’. Archives of Dermatology 146 (1): 103–4.

  Trüeb, Ralph M., and Alexander A. Navarini (2010). ‘Beneath the Nimbus: The Hair of the Saints’. Archives of Dermatology 146 (7): 764.

  In brief

  ‘Why the Long Face?: The Mechanics of Mandibular Symphysis Proportions in Crocodiles’

  by Christopher W. Walmsley, Peter D. Smits, Michelle R. Quayle, Matthew R. McCurry, Heather S. Richards, Christopher C. Oldfield, Stephen Wroe, Phillip D. Clausen and Colin R. McHenry (published in PLos ONE, 2013)

  ‌‘Bite, shake and twist’ pressure points of three crocodile species

  Greek cheek

  How many Greek children have dimpled cheeks? Until recently no one really knew, but now there is detailed information as to exactly how many do, how many don’t, and where the dimples are.

  Athena Pentzos-DaPonte of Aristotle University in Thessaloniki and an international team counted the dimples on 14,141 male and 14,141 female Greek children and adolescents. To be thorough, they observed the children smiling and also not smiling.

  The scientists performed this count in 1980. A quarter century later, they finished their quantitative analysis of the data, and published a report in the International Journal of Anthropology. The report does not explain the significance, if any, of the number 14,141.

  The data paint a clear picture. Approximately 13 percent of Greek children had a noticeable cheek dimple or dimples. Girls and boys were almost equally well dimpled.

  Pentzos-DaPonte and her colleagues – Alessandro Vienna from the University of Rome, Larry Brant from the National Institute on Aging in Baltimore, Maryland, and Gertrude Hauser from the University of Vienna – also considered location. Was a dimple on the left? Was it on the right? Or (to put it in technical terms) was the dimpling bilateral? Left-dimpled Greek children were as common as right-dimpled, but only about 3.5 percent of youngsters had dimples in both cheeks.

  In 1983 Pentzos-DaPonte and colleague Silke Grefen-Peter published a study of cheek dimpling in Greek adults. About 34 percent of the adults had dimples – almost triple the occurrence of dimpling in Greek youths. The scientists now speculate that most of those adult dimples are literally old-fashioned: the skin aged, lost elasticity and gained sag.

  Greece has always been a nation that prizes knowledge. Few other countries, though, know the prevalence of cheek dimpling among any age group. It would seem a straightforward procedure to count dimples. But, increasingly, such figures are becoming subject to manipulation.

  For example, Dr Pichet Rodchareon, of the Pichet Plastic Surgery Clinic in Bangkok, Thailand, advertises his willingness to insert cheek dimples for a cost (as I am writing this) of US $1500 per dimple. Rodchareon is one of the most prominent advertisers of this particular service (and other ser
vices too; his website says the practice is ‘The Leading Aesthetic Plastic Surgery Center of Cosmetic Surgery and Sex Change Surgery in Bangkok, Thailand’), but many plastic surgeons have the skill and experience to sculpt a dimple. Some even offer a reversible cheek dimple operation.

  At the 2002 World Congress of Cosmetic Surgery, held in Shanghai, China, Dr Xuan Cuong Nguyen of Vietnam presented a talk called ‘An Easy and Precise Way to Make a Cheek Dimple’. This is the same Dr Nguyen who just the year before was awarded the ‘World Leader of Cosmetic Surgery’ gold cup at a ceremony in Mumbai, India. So far, his method has not proved as easy as it sounds, given that the price of artificial cheek dimples has not yet tumbled. That’s unhappy news for the dimple seeker on a tight budget.

  Pentzos-DaPonte, Athena, Alessandro Vienna, Larry Brant and Gertrude Hanser (2004). ‘Cheek Dimples in Greek Children and Adolescents’. International Journal of Anthropology 19 (4): 289–95.

  Pentzos-Daponte, Athena (1986). ‘4 Anthroposcopic Markers in the Northern Greece Population: Hand Folding, Arm Folding, Tongue Rolling and Tongue Folding’. Anthropologischer Anzeiger 44 (1): 55–60.

  May we recommend

  ‘The Treatment Dilemma Caused by Lumps in Surfers’ Chins’

  by Jun Fujimura, Kenji Sasaki, Tsukasa Isago, Yasukimi Suzuki, Nobuo Isono, Masaki Takeuchi and Motohiro Nozaki (published in Annals of Plastic Surgery, 2007)

  Hair-raising treats

  Alexander Tse-Yan Lee – or, as he generally identifies himself: Alexander Tse-Yan Lee, BH Sci., Dip. Prof. Counsel., MAIPC, MACA – was in the news some years ago, albeit tangentially. For a while the Internet was slightly a-twitter (though not via Twitter, which did not yet exist) with mentions of Lee’s piece of writing entitled ‘Hair Soy Sauce: A Revolting Alternative to the Conventional’. It appeared in the Internet Journal of Toxicology, adding to that publication’s stock of grim, occasionally grimy delights. The article’s section headings do a good job of both stoking and satisfying the reader’s interest:

  The Soy Sauce – An Introduction

  The Cheap Soy Sauce That Aroused the Public

  The Stunning Alternative to Soy – the Human Hair

  Toxic Consequences of The Hair and The Chemicals

  The Boycott Phenomena

  Conclusion

  Little attention has been paid to Dr Lee himself, or to his other work.

  Lee’s stated affiliation is unusual: Queers Network Research of Hong Kong, China. So are his other published papers, several of which also appear in the Internet Journal of Toxicology.

  ‘The Foods From Hell: Food Colouring’, is filled with colourfully tasty details. It, too, reveals its gist to the reader who skims the section titles:

  Food Colouring Agents: Synthetic Versus Natural

  Coloured Chinese Steamed Corn-Buns

  Coloured Dry Shrimps (Dried Shrimps?)

  Coloured Fruits

  Coloured Vegetables

  Coloured Dark Rice

  Coloured Traditional Chinese Herbal Medicinal Products

  Conclusion

  Lee’s biography mentions a study called ‘It Is Foods that Look Good Kill You’, which is described as being ‘in press’ in the Internet Journal of Toxicology. It is not clear, if one goes looking for the report itself, whether ‘It Is Foods that Look Good Kill You’ was an early title that was later published, to little acclaim, as ‘The Foods From Hell’, or whether it has yet to appear.

  Lee did publish ‘Faked Eggs: The World’s Most Unbelievable Invention’. It, too, features tiny, tale-telling section titles that, in another setting, might comprise an entire short poem:

  A Brief Introduction to Problem Foods in Mainland China

  The Eggs that Cause Problems

  The ‘Red Yolk’ Eggs

  The Soil-Filled Eggs

  The Human-Made Eggs

  Is it a good advice to sniff the eggs only?

  Conclusion

  Earlier, Dr Lee wrote a book called My Weight Loss Diary eBook, which foreshadows many of his later works. He offered it on the Internet. The summary alone may be worth the $6 price: ‘With certificate from a pancake challenge after finishing a stack of pancake in less than 2 minutes; holding a record of eating 8 family size pizzas in a buffet dinner; having two burgers with milk shake for lunch everyday and finishing an extra large size frozen chicken with chips and gravy for snacks while still demanding for more.’

  Some of the articles disappeared from the Internet, having lived quiet lives that persist in the memories of people who voraciously consume all news about hair, soy sauce or faked eggs – and persist also, of course, in the mind of Alexander Tse-Yan Lee, BH Sci., Dip. Prof. Counsel., MAIPC, MACA.

  Lee, Alexander Tse-Yan (2005). ‘Hair Soy Sauce: A Revolting Alternative to the Conventional’. Internet Journal of Toxicology 2 (1): n.p.

  — (2005). ‘The Foods From Hell: Food Colouring’. Internet Journal of Toxicology 2 (2): n.p.

  — (in press). ‘It Is Foods that Look Good Kill You’. Internet Journal of Toxicology.

  — (2005). ‘Faked Eggs: The World’s Most Unbelievable Invention’. Internet Journal of Toxicology 2 (1): n.p.

  ‌Five

  ‌Thinking, On Your Feet and Fingers

  In brief

  ‘Arm Wrestling Fractures: A Humerus Twist’

  by J.H. Whitaker (published in American Journal of Sports Medicine, 1977)

  Some of what’s in this chapter: Pedestrians in space • Topsy-turvey sloth • Man’s heavy leg • Tables and chairs on the highway • Wok twists • Mosh motion • Sock not inside • Manipulation by armadillo • Giving the finger new meaning • Missing this, missing that • Fake foot indications • The knifing of pumpkins • Approaches to cutting flesh • Wealth via cockroach leg • Foot tippling

  Pedestrian research

  As you walk city streets, frustrated at why those other pedestrians behave so frustratingly, be aware that people are trying to improve the situation, but are making progress only in slow steps.

  Dr Taku Fujiyama, one of the modern masters in this endeavour, is a lecturer at University College London’s Secret Centre, or ‘the £17m international centre for PhD training in security and crime-related research’.

  Fujiyama began his work before joining Secret. In 2005, while affiliated (as he continued to be) with UCL’s Centre for Transport Studies, he wrote a study called ‘Investigating Use of Space of Pedestrians’. It proposed a series of experiments in and on a mobile lighting-and-sound-system-equipped ‘elevated demountable paved platform’.

  Different kinds of people – old, young, fat, thin – ambled and strode along the platform. A laser tracking system monitored their every motion and stoppage.

  ‌Comparison of two pedestrian approaches

  One early experiment focused on how people avoid collisions. Fujiyama observed that ‘collision avoidance of a pedestrian reflects his/her spatial requirements for the walking space’.

  In a later paper, ‘Free Walking Speeds on Stairs: Effects of Stair Gradients and Obesity of Pedestrians’, Fujiyama and his colleague Nick Tyler report that they ‘did not find any significant difference between the walking speeds of normal and overweight (or moderately obese) participants’.

  Fujiyama and Tyler are following the decades-old footsteps of UCL’s Ivor B. Stilitz. In the late 1960s, Stilitz analysed rush-hour crowds moving and not moving through ticket halls in five London Underground stations. He published a summary filled with detailed tables and diagrams, including a squiggles and numbers depiction of the ‘clouds’ that form near a set of ticket machines.

  Stilitz sprinkled his paper with a drop of dry engineering humour. He wrote: ‘Not surprisingly, the length of queue was correlated with the number of people in it.’

  ‌A pedestrian flowchart

  Fujiyama, Taku (2005). ‘Investigating Use of Space of Pedestrians’, Accessibility Research Group, Centre for Transport Studies, University College London, working paper, January.

  — (2
011). ‘Free Walking Speeds on Stairs: Effects of Stair Gradients and Obesity of Pedestrians’. In Peacock, Richard D., Erica D. Kuligowski and Jason D. Averill (eds). Pedestrian and Evacuation Dynamics. New York: Springer, pp. 95–106.

  Kitazawa, Kay, and Taku Fujiyama (2010). ‘Pedestrian Vision and Collision Avoidance Behaviour: Investigation of the Information Process Space of Pedestrians Using an Eye Tracker’. In Klingsch, Wolfram W.F., Christian Rogsch and Andreas Schadschneider (eds). Pedestrian and Evacuation Dynamics 2008. New York: Springer, pp. 95–108.

  Stilitz, Ivor B. (1969). ‘The Role of Static Pedestrian Groups in Crowded Spaces.’ Ergonomics 12 (6): 821–39.

  May we recommend

  ‘Doll Shoes: The Cause of Behavioural Problems?’

  by A.K. Leung (published in the Canadian Medical Association Journal, 1984)

  The author, at Alberta Children’s Hospital in Calgary, reports: ‘One evening, while relatives were visiting from Toronto, his mother slept with him. After 20 minutes in bed she started to feel very nauseated, felt as though she were floating and had a severe headache. At the same time she could smell a very strong odour in the bed, and when she rolled over she realized that the shoes on the doll were the cause of the odour and of her feeling ill. The shoes were discoloured and the stench was very strong. The woman put the shoes away and since that time has noticed a marked improvement in her child’s behaviour.’

  ‌Slothful

  The name of the sloth is synonymous with a certain style of sin. But scientists pursue them for other reasons, too. The animals move – something they do on occasion – in what can seem mysterious ways. They hang upside down from tree limbs, and sometimes amble that way there. On the ground, ambling right-side-up is their preferred way to get from here to slightly over there. They often snooze.